Every since "they" started putting computer chips into everything, I’ve wondered about my washer and dryer. I’ve also wondered about whatever cleaning apparatus my dry cleaners use.

I’m somewhat convinced that one of two things has been going on with these suspect contraptions: (1) The manufacturers of these laundry devices are in cahoots with the clothing manufacturers; or (2) the computer chips in these devices have not functioned as they ideally should.

Stay with me here, this is not as complicated as it may seem.

Somewhat slowly, over a period of time, my clothing began to actually shrink.

I know this because these garments no longer fit as comfortably as they once did. But not being a quitter, I vowed to get the last laugh on my appliances. I simply bought bigger sizes. Ha!! If they were going to shrink these new clothes, they were going to have to work that much harder.

Well, as it turns out the computer chips are apparently programmed to anticipate such a move, because in no time at all my new, larger sizes were being shrunk as well.

No matter how many times I attempted to outsmart these metal monsters, they would figure it out and ... well, you know.

What really galled me though was the fact that apparently my dry cleaner got in on the act, too. They began shrinking my dress shirts, trousers, even my suits and sport coats.

"What’s up with that?" I wondered.

But at last I have good news.

I have noticed in the past couple of weeks that either the computer chips in my washer and or dryer have stopped working or are malfunctioning. My dry cleaner has stopped shrinking my clothes as well. In fact (if you can believe this) they have begun restoring them to their original size! My sports jackets fit like they used to fit. (I can button them again!) My pants are much looser (I’ll want to be careful with that!!)

The cleaners pretty much admitted what they had been up to. Last week when I picked up my clean shirts I said, "Oh, by the way, thank you for your decision to no longer shrink these like you had been doing."

The young lady looked at me, somewhat sheepishly (guilty) and realizing I wasn’t going to back down replied, "Riiiiiiiigggghhhhht!"

Sounded like an admission to me! Interestingly, it was the same reaction I got from Mike Becker when I suggested that I wouldn’t have to pay last week’s Kiwanis fine because I missed the luncheon. We both paid, it only seemed riiiiggghhhtttt.

Here’s the skinny (you like that "skinny" bit?)

Total weight lost: 26 pounds. Total inches lost: 12½!!!!

Here’s the breakdown: