Diet Chronicle, Article (21)

It turns out they are not alone. I have discovered that if one were to weigh in on a dozen different scales, one would get ... a dozen different weights!

Only one of the scales could possibly be right. That would be the scale that shows the lightest weight.

It’s called "Fisher’s Law of a Bunch of Scales." Or is it a theory?

Either way, it works. I’ve checked it out with other dieters and a control group.

My random sampling of people who want to weigh less showed that 100 percent would believe the scale that gave the lightest weight. I was astounded!

Control group

So, I remembered something about those scientific types insisting on a control group to test theory.

I stopped people and asked the simple question, "Do you think you need to lose weight?"

My thinking was that I would find my control group among those who answered, "No, I think I look just fine."

Obviously I didn’t ask people who "looked just fine."

The first fellow I asked was apparently doing his own survey because he asked if I thought I needed his fist "upside my head."

I didn’t.

So, I resorted to just asking this question to anyone I met: "If you weighed in on a number of different scales, say a dozen, and each one was a little different, which one do you think would be the most accurate?"

I expected some to say, "the most expensive one" or "the newest one" or something similar. But most of my responses were more like, "Which one do YOU think."

Agrees 100 percent

Well, I had no choice but to put down my answer. It was like getting their proxy vote. So there you have it, even the control group agrees 100 percent on which scale is correct.

Isn’t science amazing?

I have bathroom scales, the doctor has his "doctor" scales, there is a real big scale in our mailroom area that’s large enough to weigh big skids of publications, the place where I work out has scales. ...

Well, you get the point. Each one weighs me differently. The bad thing is all of them seem to take turns weighing me in the lightest. This means I am not always consistent in knowing how much weight I’ve actually lost.

That leads to "Fisher's Second Law of a Bunch of Scales" that says "a dieter can pick and choose which scale on any given day, is most accurate."

So, depending upon which scale I start with and which one I now accept, I have lost anywhere between 30 and 361/2 pounds since I started this weight-loss diet.

By the scales I started with, a week prior to my second visit to Dr. Miguel Topalov, and what I weighed in at Topalov’s office this past Thursday, I have lost ... 361/2 pounds!

Here’s what the Doc said, "Keep doing what you’re doing."

‘Very good’ progress

He went on to say that I am making "very good" progress. And as he again gazed at my chart, noting a third consecutive drop in my blood pressure from previous visits, he added, "This is excellent, exceptionally good in 19 weeks."

He did caution me to stay away from salt, especially added salt from a shaker. He reminded me to continue to exercise. He also admitted that he is following my diet by reading my weekly column. I was flattered.

One last item: If you put a dozen or more Kiwanians in a room, what do you get?

Well, one answer is a bunch of folks who try to make a difference in their community and the world. Since I’ve missed the last two weeks of Kiwanis (one a golf outing) and I will be in Columbus this week, I can only hope that they are paying their fines for my mentioning their names, which goes toward our IDD worldwide project. You know who I’m talking about ... people like Ralph Bornhorst, our president; Dave Bemus, our VP; and Ray Weber, our treasurer. Maybe Mark Kaufman will make it to Kiwanis this week, he’ll let me know.